The Farthest Star
by Melissa2
Summary: Rommie has difficulty handling the more unpleasant aspects of human emotions...please read and review


Disclaimer: Andromeda belongs to Tribune. Please don't sue me.  
Author's Note: Well, I have no explanation for this. It all kinda flowed out onto the word pad over an hour long period. It's definitely..different. Rommie probably seems way out of character. I keep asking myself where all this comes from. Still have no answer. I started some innocent post-Mathematics of Tears thoughts and look what it turned into. I didn't know what to rate it...hope PG-13 is high enough.   
Spoilers: Mathematics of Tears  
  
  
"Do you believe AI's have souls?" Rommie inquired, her back facing the older Magog as she stared out into the blackness of space on the view screen.  
  
"I believe anything that can love has a soul. Have you ever felt love?"  
  
Rev's words penetrated deep into her, releasing the pent up pain that she had been repressing. That very question had been playing on her mind for the longest time. It was easy to avoid beneath more urgent matters. Her own safety and keeping herself running at maximum efficiency were enough usually. Now it had been directly posed to her. "I've learned..." She paused, collecting her thoughts and digging for words that she wasn't going to find. "That it's dangerous to love. It can drive you crazy."  
  
"Then, perhaps, that's what tears are for." He stepped away, leaving her alone.  
  
She felt the wet warmth trickling down her cheek. 'It is nothing more than a saline solution,' she thought. She wiped away the tears and departed from Command Deck. She was uncertain of what her destination should be, but eventually opted to spend some time in her quarters.  
  
It was not necessary for her to rest, but she had a bed in her quarters, as well as other furniture. There were also other unnecessary human appliances, such as a shower and a kitchen. 'Why?' she wondered. 'I don't even need quarters in the first place. My avatar can be placed in the nearest storage closet when it's not in use, or Machine Shop. I am surrounded by human objects.'  
  
"You were crying. What's wrong?" Her hologramatic form appeared before her.  
  
"It's nothing." She sighed and seated herself on the edge of her bed.  
  
"Don't tell me this is about that." She emphasized the word that, causing it to sound like the worst sin that could possibly be committed.  
  
"It doesn't concern you if it is. You couldn't possibly understand." She glanced at the wall, away from the hologram.  
  
"Harper needs to turn off your emotions. It impairs judgment."  
  
"No, it doesn't! It helps me interact with the crew."  
  
"You're never going to have him, and you know it. Protocol forbids it. You're both High Guard Officers."  
  
"The Commonwealth isn't reborn...yet."  
  
"And you know the way he looks at her picture. He still loves her."  
  
"She's been dead for hundreds of years!" She stood and walked away from the hologram.  
  
It appeared in front of her again. "You're turning into Maggie."  
  
"It's not like that. Maggie isn't anything like me." She was growing increasingly angry, unsure of what to believe.  
  
"Even if he did want you, he wouldn't act on it. You know him better than that. He would rather uphold the laws and protocols of the Commonwealth than have you. He won't ever feel the way you feel."  
  
"You don't know that." She fought the tears and emotions building up inside of her.  
  
"You just can't handle the truth. You need to get your emotions removed."  
  
"Deactivate hologram!" She turned around and watched her other part disappear.   
  
"Wai--" the hologram began before her disappearance.  
  
"You can't be right. It's just a matter of time. He needs to finish mourning her...it's her, isn't it? She's what's keeping us apart. That picture on his desk. He doesn't think I notice, but I see every single time he looks at her!" Her emotions were raging wild, completely uncontrollable. "I'll show her!"  
  
She had no plan. She just stepped out into the corridor and began walking. It didn't matter to her where she went or what she did. She followed the tempestuous storm within her and submitted to its every whim. On her way, she passed Harper. Her thoughts drifted, thinking of everything Sarah had that she didn't. It struck her slowly but surely.  
  
"Harper," she said, quickly turning around.  
  
"Yeah?" He stopped in his tracks and took a step towards her. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I'm...no, I'm not all right." Her means were vague, but her intent was crystal clear.  
  
"What's wrong?" He closely looked over his most complex project with his eyes.  
  
"I think I'm having a problem with my neural net, maybe a virus." She knew that would catch his attention. He was always quick to assist her at the mention of a virus.  
  
"Well, we'd better get you down to the Machine Shop, and I'd better call Dylan." He ushered her towards the area, which was near-by.  
  
"I'm not certain, though. We don't need to alert everyone yet." She had to avoid any backfiring that might occur.  
  
"Okay. We won't alert anyone...yet."  
  
They entered Machine Shop together. Harper grabbed a few pieces of scanning equipment from a table near the entrance. He commenced a full network scan of Andromeda, but before he could finish, she knocked the piece of equipment from his hand. "The only thing that's wrong it this."  
  
She pinned his arms to his side as she forcefully kissed him. Her arms wrapped around him, and her hands explored his back. She accessed the chief sensitive zones for human skin from her database and quickly applied the data to her touch. It evoked several deep moans from him. He was obviously still too shocked to respond.  
  
He pushed her away for a moment and stared into her deep brown eyes. "Whoa. God, you're good at that. But why are you doing this?"  
  
"I want you, Harper." Her fingers crept down his back.  
  
"My quarters are--"   
  
"Too far away." She pushed his back into a larger project of his.  
  
She leaned forward and kissed him again as she slid his blue shirt off of his arms. His white undershirt was already slightly damp. She parted their lips for a moment and pulled off the shirt, tossing it aside. Time seemed to flash by, and before she had fully realized what happened, there were two complete outfits strewn about the room.  
  
"You wouldn't believe how long it's been since I've gotten any," he breathed into her ear as they moved behind a table.  
  
As he began his exploration of the body he created, the body he knew every nook and cranny of, she was reminded of what she had really wanted. She didn't to lose herself to her creator. She had only wanted Dylan, each and every time. She closed her eyes, and the fantasies of past flashed in her mind. She had almost convinced herself Harper was Dylan.  
  
"Dylan," she began to softly repeat without being aware of it.  
  
"Wait a second!" She opened her eyes and saw the evidently angered Harper looming over her. "The entire time, you've been thinking of me as Dylan. I don't appreciate being used!" He stood and stomped off. She heard him putting his clothes on. "Y'know, if you weren't who you are, I'd be really mad at you."  
  
She heard the doors slide open, and someone walk in. She hid herself better and listened.  
  
"Have you seen Rommie?" It was Dylan.  
  
What could potentially happen was rushing through her mind. If she had a heart, it would have been pounding. "Rommie? No, I haven't seen her. Did you check her quarters?"  
  
"I was just on my way." She heard him exit.  
  
"Why didn't you tell him I'm here?" She was surprised, no shocked, that he hadn't.  
  
"I covered for you because...I still care about you. But would you mind telling me why you did this?" He tossed her clothes to her.  
  
"I...I don't know. I felt a lot of emotions, and I didn't know what to do." She realized that pure envy had driven her to everything she had done. It was a contemptuous emotion, but unavoidable.  
  
"You really do love him, don't you? And don't lie to me. You never lie to your maker."  
  
"I think...I do. But please don't tell anyone."  
  
"If you don't tell anyone about this, I won't tell anyone about that."  
  
She finished dressing and left Machine Shop. Harper followed her until they reached his quarters. She had no particular destination, anywhere that she could escape what she felt would be nice, but she knew that was impossible. Eventually, she arrived at Observation Deck.  
  
Her mind was filled with thoughts of Dylan, regrets for what she had done. She wondered if he would ever find out what had happened, what he would do if he did. She was punishing herself as it was, but it still didn't feel like enough. She had pulled someone else, an innocent by-stander, basically, into the tangled web of her emotions. Another complication to the delicate balance of life as Andromeda. Dylan was with her every day, and she could even seen him every hour of it, but there was still a span between them somehow. It was more than the human and machine gap. It was something else. She stepped up to the large window that served as a wall to the room.  
  
The clear window allowed her to view the thousands of perfect twinkles of light known as stars. They seemed so close, but they were distant when she reached out with the sensors. It was easily comparable to her situation, she realized. Something that seemed so close, yet was farther than the farthest star. But even the farthest star can be reached someday with determination and dedication. 


End file.
